Category: Post I-do


The ‘Perfect Couple’ Fallacy

There is something about the way people look at me and Husband with those eyes that make me die a little everytime, everyday. “Those eyes” which see a good looking couple, who love eachother and look so fucking good together and are successful and have their own 5 bedroom house and wonder how it can work so fucking perfectly for some people. Envy, in other words. Its sickening. It makes me hate my life which I normally, otherwise on non-hormonal days, love. Its especially sickening on days like today when the bed has that damp it-just-rained feeling and the AC is blowing this wonderful air and I am looking perfect and he is not looking at me, killing my self-esteem by the second.

I wonder if there are other married women who while changing their clothes get disappointed when their husbands are not sneaking glances at them. I wonder how many women out there lie about the number of times they have sex. Is there anyone who feels like a fraud when laughing loudly on dirty jokes knowing how the dirtiest thing in their lives is the one day old panties hanging behind the bathroom door?

Husband why do you not want to have sex with me? Why after just a year of our marriage its become a once a week thing? Is it normal? Why do people assume its happening more often than that then? Sometimes we go without it for a fortnight. Do people count the non-sex days like I do?

Husband do you know that men generally find me desirable. I might not be beautiful but I am hot and you know it. Have you seen my bikini-ready body closely? Do you know how sexually active I am atleast if not in reality than in my thoughts? Do you care? I know you love me but then why doesnt that translate here? Isnt that a contradiction in itself?

Bang me like you picked me up from a street corner some day. Let me beg for mercy and not stop still. Laugh an evil laugh if you want but fucking fuck me a little more often, please?

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When I look at him…

…I feel at home. Warm and fuzzy inside.

At the age that I am, and I mean it in terms of the experiences that I have had more than the years that I have lived, one realizes how vain human beings are to think they are capable of godly, immortal feelings of “Love”. You realize how life is just about getting to breathe that next breath, and take that next step which takes you one-step closer from point ‘a’ to point ‘b’. Nothing more, nothing less. I have somehow managed to reign in my wants and desires and realized that.. and then furher make peace with it.

So when I look at him all I feel is this nice, warm fuzzy feeling inside me and I am okay with it. Thankful to God, for taking me through the winding roads and wrong turns, as they brought me home.

a few hours later

…So even after writing an angry post, I sat in the room huffing and puffing. A little while later hubby crawls into bed and I pick up my sheets and pillow, stomping my feet, grumbling and leave the room, obviously banging the door behind me.

Called a few people and then after an hour came back to my room. Fucking mosquitoes everywhere. I tried to sleep and then the genious idea of waking him up occured to me.

long story short. I screamed. He listened. We cuddled. We had sex!

not that bad, eh?

I know why you come back. but I also know that one day you’ll stop and thats when i’ll write about some serious stories about cougarish sexapades, and gloating about how you all are missing out!

But till then find solace in the fact that I am somewhere, sitting on my married ass, loving my husband and yet wondering why he finds it more interesting to play video games than talk to me!

Yes, that’s exactly what I am gonna vent about.

So I come back from work and he spends 2-5 hours every day playing video games. Thats 2-5 hours he doesn’t spend with me. I am still gloriously young and he’s still horny in the mornings but sometime I think of when we’ll be in our dreaded 30’s, me with breasts which have stretch marks and kids driving me mad, pushing showering and waxing down on my priority list, and I wonder, would sex be still happening then?

Would you still fuck me, hubby? Would we still not talk cause we are too tired from work? Would we still be taking each other forgranted… making singles out there jealous of how in tune we are while I sadly go online and blog anonymously about how unfullfilled I am, especially when I am fucking-about-to-get-my-period?

Would I still be PMS-ing?

As much as I love you. You really need to stop this video-game business.

I do

I thought I would freak out about the “being married” part more than the “marriage ceremoney part”. I was very wrong.

Once the whole ball started rolling, I was just so much more concerned with the wedding itself. Since I knew there was no getting out of it and so i thought I would leave the marriage blues for later. I’m so glad I did that. Cause right after came a peace I really badly needed. The fiance was very smooth in his transition into the husband. He was caring and considerate. Not that that’s new, but he did all that in a completely new way. I nagged the hell out of him about the bathroom and the clothes lying on the floor yet he still carried on being my hubby darling. I could tell how much I was testing his patience and how much he was giving up on his freedom. Yet he never said anything. I now remember why I thought spending my entire life with him was a good idea. I remember how it felt when we first met. I remember how he used to look at me back then. He still looks at me like that. Like I am the most beautiful thing he has ever laid eyes on. Its really sweet considering how I know that’s so far away from the reality.

 So yeah, I’m married… happily so. I know I am still within the diameter of the one month mark yet I know that it ain’t ever gonna suck like it did right before I got married. I know its gonna be fine…

 Also I have a feeling this blog is gonna suck now. This happy married thing can not result in good posts, I’m already telling you all!

… I am sure all of you are wondering about it. This is assuming my readers haven’t completly forgotten about me 🙂

well, i’ll tell you. in a few days … sowwie *insert innocent pout*