There is something about the way people look at me and Husband with those eyes that make me die a little everytime, everyday. “Those eyes” which see a good looking couple, who love eachother and look so fucking good together and are successful and have their own 5 bedroom house and wonder how it can work so fucking perfectly for some people. Envy, in other words. Its sickening. It makes me hate my life which I normally, otherwise on non-hormonal days, love. Its especially sickening on days like today when the bed has that damp it-just-rained feeling and the AC is blowing this wonderful air and I am looking perfect and he is not looking at me, killing my self-esteem by the second.

I wonder if there are other married women who while changing their clothes get disappointed when their husbands are not sneaking glances at them. I wonder how many women out there lie about the number of times they have sex. Is there anyone who feels like a fraud when laughing loudly on dirty jokes knowing how the dirtiest thing in their lives is the one day old panties hanging behind the bathroom door?

Husband why do you not want to have sex with me? Why after just a year of our marriage its become a once a week thing? Is it normal? Why do people assume its happening more often than that then? Sometimes we go without it for a fortnight. Do people count the non-sex days like I do?

Husband do you know that men generally find me desirable. I might not be beautiful but I am hot and you know it. Have you seen my bikini-ready body closely? Do you know how sexually active I am atleast if not in reality than in my thoughts? Do you care? I know you love me but then why doesnt that translate here? Isnt that a contradiction in itself?

Bang me like you picked me up from a street corner some day. Let me beg for mercy and not stop still. Laugh an evil laugh if you want but fucking fuck me a little more often, please?