It happened for me only once.

He was my bestfriendinthewholewideeeeworld. He was everything. The air I Breathed. The Star I orbited around. The God I worshipped. The tunes I hummed. The religion I practiced.

He was my everything.

I spent that period of my life, every moment, every second, so I had something to tell him at night. He was my very first love.

I remember the time, when I was 19 and on my way back from a party, at which I had danced with him all through. We had been friendly and spent quite some time talking on the phone for a while by then. Not in the potential-fuck kinda way. We got along well and that was that, or something like that. I hung out with him in university a lot. The phone calls had become a daily-routine kinda thing. After the party I tried to look for him and just couldn’t find him. So I was disappointed about leaving without goodbyes. It was when we were getting out of the car park that I saw him sitting on his car boot. Legs dangling, Big Coke bottle in hand, talking to his best friend… and I yelled. Brakes slammed and I ran out. Its when I was standing right across him that I figured how dramatic all of that was. He smiled a huge smile, pulled me forward and gave me a big hug. I don’t remember walking back to the car.

It was a sleepless night, which followed, followed by even more sleeplessness. Whole two years of it. Life was perfect. I was happy.

I didnt ask him out or declare my love to him… atleast in so many words. I just knew it, even then, that if he broke my heart I would never be able to get over it. I just knew it. So one way loving was better… and sufficient. I know how that tends to dampen a lot of young souls but me, I was okay with just looking at him. Talking to him. Having him make fun of me. The role of his confidante was more than I could have asked for. How could I, being me, wish for more. Such was he. Such was I.

A year and nine months passed, before me and him got romantically involved, from that time in the car park. It was worth the wait. Crazy, Passionate, Beautiful and Surreal. It was, quite literally, a dream come true.

So I listen to this song & go back to that time, feeling every word of this song. Mushy, I know… but I swear, it was this  very happiness. This very fairy-tale-perfection.

So I don’t mind that state of affairs my life is going through now. When things are pitch-black-dark and gloomy, I can go back to that time and know that I felt something that people can only dream off. I had it. I still do…

All I need, is to close my eyes and think of him.

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