Its not as easy as you think it is.

I was 21 when I learnt one of the harshest realities of life; Life goes on, no matter what. Great consolation, along with an extreme form of sadness lies in the fact. Without knowing this, your beloved is like a life-line. Saying bye is impossible. You hang on, scared of what would happen to you and who would love you again but once this mini life-fact has been registered in your head, you realize that no matter how much you once loved some one and no matter how much time, energy and effort you invested in your time with someone, it doesn’t matter once a little time has gone by. The downside of relationships get magnified when viewed through the magnifying glass of forever.

So its as simple as that. I love my fiance. I know I will never find another man who could compare to him. The way he is and the way he loves. Yet for some fucked up reason its not enough… Its just not.

So I’ll see him in a few hours to “talk”. I have no idea what I’ll say. I have never hurt someone this much. I have never been that person. How did I get here?..

not to mention, how shall I tell Mama, Papa?..

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